We will never forget

On this day a year ago I wrote something very personal and posted it at NMAW's blog.

I've posted it below.

“Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?” Allan Jackson

It’s a question I’ve been asked so many times and every time I answer chills run down my spine. As a native of New Jersey, 9/11 is a day that impacted my life like nothing ever has.

I don’t normally share personal stories on NMAW’s blog, but on this day, I had to put in writing the story I’ve shared so many times.

I was asleep when the first plane hit, like most college students, I had no need to get up because my first class wasn’t until that evening, and then my phone rang and my world changed forever.

It was my Mom calling from work and the fear in her voice was something I had never heard before. My Mom has always been the pillar of strength, the last to breakdown when something goes wrong, always making sure that everyone else is ok before she lets herself go, so hearing her say, “turn on the TV something horrible is happening” with a tremble in her voice was, to say the least, jarring.

I flipped on the TV in my room and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It had to be an accident, maybe it wasn’t real, but it was, it was very real. Then the second plane hit, then the Pentagon was hit and then the plane went down in Pennsylvania and my disbelief turned into sheer terror.

I remember slowly getting ready that morning, I fielded phone calls from friends and family, not knowing what to think, who I needed to call, and what was going to happen next. As I sat in a diner eating lunch, I thought to myself, this is America, we will get through this. I spent that afternoon standing on the beach with dozens of other people, just staring out at the ocean trying to make sense of it all.

I remember wanting to go out that night because my brain just couldn’t wrap itself around the events of the day and my Dad, wanting his family close to him, telling me no and to this day I appreciate that. I’m sure at the time I wasn’t thrilled, but I know now that being with the ones I loved most in my life that night was the most important thing I could do. You find out when you get older that parents often know what they’re talking about. Thanks, Dad! :-)

The days, months and even years after the attacks were hard, spending numerous evenings at services for people that were never found, hearing the horror stories of those that never made it out, saying goodbye to friends that were going off to serve our country proudly and just taking time to heal.

My Dad and Brother are both firefighters and we spent the weekend after the attacks at the NJ State Firemen’s Convention. I’ve always known that firefighters have an amazing bond among them, they really are brothers, but the support and solidarity I saw that weekend was more than I ever could have imagined. They were a community, a community that had lost family members. You would think many of them would have left the fire service, but no, they bonded together, stronger than ever, they were determined to make it through this. They are an amazing group of people that often go unnoticed and that’s ok with them. They’re doing what they love, selflessly protecting us.

Next weekend I’ll be back in NJ for this year’s convention, spending time with the two most important men in my life, my Dad and my Brother, who make me so incredibly proud that I can’t even find the words to explain it.

I will never forget 9/11, it isn’t that I can’t forget, I could certainly try to, it’s that I don’t want to forget, ever. I never want to forget the innocent men and women that died that day, those that gave their lives to save others and those that are still making the ultimate sacrifice for my freedom.

I hope you never forget.